What do you get when you cross a doer with a thinker?
While this sounds like a great setup for a joke, it describes my husband and me in a lot of ways — but particularly when it comes to money.
I’m Action Jackson.
He’s Ebenezer Scrooge.
But before you judge either one of us, let’s begin at the beginning, shall we?
Hot Out of the Gate vs. Let’s Take Our Time
I’ve always been someone who likes to get stuff done. I can’t remember a time when I was ever okay to just admire a problem and let it float along in space.
And I’ll admit, when I’m in a job interview and someone asks what my greatest strength is, I slyly say, “I have a bias for action.”
My husband, on the other hand, is a thinker.
Honestly, I don’t think he can ponder something “too long” because he wants to be sure he’s thought of just about every possible outcome before he makes a move.
He’s the guy you go to for a truly well-thought-out response to something.
I’m more of a “close enough” type, but I’m pleased to report I have an alarmingly high rate of success, lol.
Early in our marriage — and, if I’m being honest, still to this day — our personality types affect how we see money.
And when I was in my early 20s, I was so much of an Action Jackson that I didn’t always give financial decisions enough thought.
We had student loans.
We had credit card debt.
We had other loans.
Neither extreme is productive.
When it comes to finances, there’s definitely a balance between taking action and thinking things through.
For example, we’ll go back several years to when we bought a house.
Wait, We Were Considering Putting an Offer on That House?
If you’re familiar with the Northern Virginia housing market, it’s usually characterized by low inventory for any number of reasons.
This was the case several years ago when we were looking for a new home in South Riding.
Hubby and I walked through a home that fit our needs pretty well.
It had a great location.
Beautiful dark hardwood floors.
A finished basement.
After we were done, I said to hubs, “It’s great! Let’s put an offer on it!”
Hubby said, “Wait, we were considering putting an offer on that house?”
Shakes alive, I nearly fell over.
But you also have to realize, a house is likely the largest purchase you’ll ever make (or one of several, like in our case), and the decision deserves deep thought and consideration.
That said, we didn’t get a chance to put an offer on that house. It had several offers, and one was accepted that night.
Bummer.
Conflict Evolves into Complement
We eventually bought a house that worked perfectly well for us, dear readers, so don’t cry for me, Argentina.
When we bought our current house, it was during the pandemic and the housing market was just bananas.
🍌 Bananas.
Inventory was low.
Interest rates were historically low.
And we decided to move.
Folks, I’ve seen this movie before, and I knew that in order to convince hubby to make a decision fast enough, I needed to PREPARE.
Prepare, Gladys!
It felt like a doctoral thesis presentation, but we spent an enormous amount of time talking about what we were looking for, what we thought our budget was, and what was happening in the housing market.
Of course, we had a Realtor as well, and we met with him as soon as we decided to sell and buy.
My son and I were driving around Ashburn over Christmas break, exploring his new school zone, when we came upon our current home, which had a big For Sale sign with a “Coming Soon” tag on top.
We parked in front of it, looked it up on Zillow, and checked the photos.
It looked gorgeous.
It was also outside what we thought was our budget. But with interest rates as low as they were, the monthly payment was actually within reach.
My son and I bolted back to South Riding, and I prepared for the presentation of my life to get hubby on board.
Ebenezer on Christmas Day
Now, before this comes across as a criticism of hubby, make no mistake, I am grateful he’s been the guardian of sanity over the years with our finances.
On the way to South Riding (likely above the published speed limit), I had prepared in my mind how I would:
- Run through all the mathity math to show hubby we could do this financially
- Scroll through all the photos from the listing, which showed a house that was in beautiful condition and had been recently renovated
- Run through the math again
- Outline how this house met all of our requirements for location, finished basement, back deck with a screened-in porch, corner lot, all that
- Run through the math again
I wasn’t totally sure I would pull it off.
But I convinced hubby we could do it.
Now, the joke was on us a bit because we went in with an offer at full asking price, and the seller countered at an even higher price (hey, what?). But there were 18 showings already scheduled, and the sellers must have realized they were sitting on quite the gem.
And yes, dear readers, we accepted the counter offer and secured the house.
Red Light, Yellow Light, Green Light
So before we all cheer for near paralysis by analysis, hubby will admit that I have helped him make decisions over the years and move forward despite not having every detail ironed out.
It helps that we have a track record of making big financial decisions together and having them work out.
And I’ll give him a little more credit here: He taught me how to save.
Young Mandy (wait, I’m still young, right?) didn’t save much.
But thankfully, her husband did.
Hubby hasn’t just taught me to make the dissertation solid before making the big decisions. He’s taught me the value of slowing down, thinking things through, and saving for what’s ahead.
They say to marry your opposite, and I can tell you that, in our case, our differences didn’t always make financial decisions easy.
But somewhere along the way, I learned that not every decision needs a green light right away, and hubby learned that we can’t sit at the red light forever.
Sometimes, yellow is exactly where we need to be.
And I will tell you — and I have told him — I am so thankful we balance each other and have hit a pretty good groove.
🐝 That’s the buzz for today!